Pavan Shamdasani and Brian Greene have the latest hot (and goofy) gadgets to cream yourself over.

Technology’s great isn’t it? Yeah sure, go ahead and pretend like you actually know the difference between a terrabyte and a proxyserver. We both know you’re only in it for the cool gadgets, so why not embrace your inner geek? Here we present some of the best toys on the market, as well as our favorite bizarre doohickeys that might just help out your everyday life.

Paparazzi Junior
Sony Ericsson C902

You just caught a B-list celebrity doing drugs at the club again? Too bad you didn’t have the C902. The new Cybershot phone was created to take decent photographs, and comes with a 5-megapixel camera that is perfect for documenting any, uh, impromptu moment. The phone also comes with a flash and automatic face-detection for when you’re shooting in the dark. Finally, shitty phone pictures are a thing of the past.

Best bit: Can’t wait until you get home to show the world your life? The phone is linked to a personal blog, where you can upload pics mere seconds after you take them. 

Recommended price: TBA

Surround Sound
Ultimate Ears Custom UE10 Pro

So you already have the most expensive permanent stereo system in your building, but you simply must take it out on the road. For all the true audiophiles with more money than your know what to do with, check out Ultimate Ears’ custom ear buds. Each bud is handcrafted to fit your ear impression and can be personalized with your own artwork. The monitors will fill your head with the clearest and richest sounds you’ve ever heard.

Best bit: Even people with freakish ear holes can now enjoy quality acoustics.

Recommended price: $9,500

The All-in-One
Miu HDPC

This wacky world of technology is getting out of hand, so send it all to the recycling plant and get your hands on the Miu hybrid dual PC, also known as the device killer.  In essence, it’s a 1GHz ultra-mobile PC with 60GB of space. It also doubles as a cellphone, 5-megapixel digital camera, media player, gaming console, internet phone, voice recorder, mobile TV device, satellite navigator, eBook reader and stereo system. At that price, what else do you need?

Best bit: Uh, everything.

Recommended price: $4,000

Cheap n’ Cheerful
Asus EEE PC 900

A couple months ago, we said that the EEE PC 701 was good for little kids because it was so cheap that it wouldn’t matter if they broke it. After Asus made some much-needed improvements, the new 900 model, while still inexpensive, has combined small size with functionality, and can run with the big dogs. It weighs less than 1kg and is half the size of most regular laptops. The notebook also has an 8.9-inch widescreen, and comes with a built-in web cam, microphone and speakers.

Best bit: Your backpack won’t weigh you down at the next Full Moon Party in Ko Phangan.

Recommended price: $5,000

Entertainment Guru
3.5” HDD drive player

If your stacks of DVDs are built so high that you can’t see over them to watch that new 50” plasma screen you just bought, copy them to this HDD portable media player and your problems are solved. No more playing movies and music on your crappy computer; the case easily connects to any television or stereo and comes with a remote control so any lazy bum can navigate the menus.
You can install any size hard drive you want.
 
Best bit: All your movies in one little box.

Recommended price: $400

Videophile
Panasonic Lumix TZ5

The latest edition to the Lumix family takes 9.1 mega pixel shots and can record HD quality movies with zoom. It comes with a 3-inch LCD screen, and uses Panasonic’s new iA intelligent auto mode. As long as you’re not too drunk to drop this high-caliber machine, you’ll have the finest quality evidence of last night’s debauchery. 

Best bit: With a 28mm ultra wide-angle Leica lens, even Edison will be able to fit all his fun in the frame.

Recommended price: $3,500

Projected Profits
Sanyo PLC-XW60 Projector

You just got a bootlegged copy of Rambo, but you’re too scared to watch it by yourself. Inviting your friends over will only lead to a raiding of the fridge and a hoarding of the beer. What to do? You buy the Sanyo PLC-XW60 projector and take the bloodshed to their place. This portable media console weighs less than 1.6kg, and fits inside most briefcases.
You would think that something this small would compromise picture quality, but its 1024 x 768 resolution allows it to produce a 100-inch projection from 9 feet away.

Best bit: It comes with adjustable color modes for projecting on different colored walls.

Recommended price: $6,500

One-Stop Mobility
LG KS20

This one can do it all. It takes the bar for mobile phones and laughs in its bar-shaped face. The brand new KS20 is the best iPhone rival the market has seen. Its 12.8mm thick, has a large black 2.8-inch touch screen, and only two buttons on the front to make it incredibly stylish. And with the latest Windows platform featuring a mobile version of Outlook, receiving emails out of the office will never be a problem.

Best bit: With mobile broadband Internet that runs at 3.6Mbps, you can enjoy seamless video streams and fast music downloads while you should
be working.

Recommended price: $2,700

 

Gadgets
Sun Worshipper
Solar Charger

So there you are, hands shaking, sweat pouring, in the middle of a life-or-death billion dollar call when you hear that dreaded beeping – your phone’s about to die, and there’s nary a 7-11 chargeport within a mile. Never fear! With this multi-purpose solar charger, never again will you face the ultimate in gadget peril (well, annoyance). Simply adjust the “teeth” to fit your phone’s battery, stand out in the daytime sun, wait a few minutes, and presto change-o, you’re back in the tech game.

Best bit: Not only does it one-up Superman with its multiple USB/AC adapter charging capabilities, but it fits a variety of devices, including digital cameras, PDAs and media players.

Recommended price: $180

Greenthumbed Gadgeteer
USB Greenhouse

Tired of polluted, sunless days, insolent coworkers, and well, your own neglect ruining your precious potted plants? Well, all your horticultural woes are easily cured with the USB greenhouse, a marigold plant cultured scientifically through your computer’s superior green fingers. Plug it in, spend a couple weeks working hard on your computer and slowly watch it grow thanks to artificial UV lights and constant reminders to water your new plant.

Best bit: You mean apart from the fact that
your workstation will be the envy of all your
colleagues?

Recommended price: $330

Eyes Wide Shut
Argo MP/3G-2

Video goggles are not very new. Stylish personal display glasses that connect directly to your iPod are. The new media eyewear allows you to play video games or watch films and TV shows right in front of your eyes, literally. The lightweight shades make you think you’re watching a 35-inch screen from six feet away. Put on the supplied ear buds and you’re completely immersed in your favorite Star Trek episode.
 
Best bit: Apart from privately watching porn, the glasses are incredibly comfortable.

Recommended price: $2,000

For The Musically Challenged
Creative Prodikeys PC-MIDI

You are not Mozart. However, Creative Labs moves your dream of playing for thousands from the mind to the computer room. Half traditional keyboard, half piano, this gadget is the easiest musical interface the industry has ever seen. The included software makes it easy for anyone to learn how to play,
or even explore many different instruments.

Best bit: Creating and recording your own annoying ring tones.

Recommended price: $300

Cunning Linguist
PenPower English / Chinese Super ScanEye

Does this situation sound familiar? You are in a restaurant, and you can’t order anything because the menu is written entirely in Chinese. No longer a problem. Roll the Super ScanEye over any Chinese text, and the English translation will immediately show up on the LED screen. The pen is portable, and at 16cm it can fit in your pocket or most bags.

Best bit: Don’t feel like pointing at what you want? Press a button,
and the pen speaks the scanned line.

Recommended price: $1,400 

Karaoke Fiend
Griffin iKaraoke

Of course, we love karaoke. Admit it, you know you do too. But no longer will you have to go make a fool of yourself in front of your friends.  The iKaraoke makes it easy to bust out your favorite tunes whenever you have the urge. Plug the microphone into any iPod and the “Line In” cord into your stereo, and you’re locked and loaded. Throw on “Hungry Like The Wolf”, and the mic automatically fades out the recorded vocals. Bang! You’re a star, even if only in your own mind.

Best bit: A built-in pitch corrector can make Bubba sound like Mariah or Whitney.

Recommended price: $400

Agoraphobic Muso
Roll-Up Piano and Drum Kit

Think those years spent in a game arcade, pumping dollar after dollar into “Beatmania” were all spent in vain? Well, they probably were – but that doesn’t mean you can’t spend the same days money-free at the comforts of your own computer. These battery-free portable instruments are USB-friendly, each coming with a variety of games and programs to waste those lonely Saturday nights, pounding away. And they roll-up for easy storage, perfect for our cramped quarters.

Best bit: Actual aspirations to move out of your mommy’s basement and be somebody? Yes, they do double as real-life instruments. Talent not included.

Recommended price:
$150-$200.

 

Where Can I Get These Wonderful Toys?

Forget Japan – China’s slowly taking over the tech mantle. We’re a regular shopper’s paradise here in Hong Kong, but don’t go to major chains like Fortress. Hit up any of one of these one-stop shopping malls for all of your discounted item, parallel import, second-hand good and real knock-off tech needs.

Broadway Computer City, 2-12 Queen’s Rd. West, Sheung Wan

Wanchai Computer Centre, 130 Hennessy Rd., Wan Chai

298 Computer Zone, 298 Hennessy Rd., Wan Chai

Mongkok Computer Centre, 8 Nelson St., Mongkok

Golden Era Plaza, 39 Sai Yee Street, Mongkok

Golden Shopping Centre, 94 Yen Chow St., Sham Shui Po

Golden Shopping Arcade, 146-152 Fuk Wah St., Sham Shui Po