Star Wars. Even the name now conjures up repelling visions of disappointment. But let’s just skip the history and jump right the review. Set between the events of Episodes II and III, “The Clone Wars” is a precursor to the upcoming CGI TV series—which, in George Lucas’ reality, is a way of stringing together three episodes and releasing it as the latest big-screen adventure, thereby robbing the ignorantly obsessive fanbase of their hard-earned nerd dollars.

As the intergalactic war rages on, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda lead the Republic army against Count Dooku and his forces of the dark side.  Meanwhile, Anakin Skywalker and his apprentice Ahsoka Tano are sent on a treacherous mission to rescue Jabba the Hutt’s infant child.

The plot seems inconsequential, an attempt to thread together old and new characters with enough of a story line to excuse the multiple action scenes. But more suspicious is the futility of it all—do we really want to see characters whose fate we already know flying shiny starships in dogfights against moronic battle droids? Maybe. Because despite what the overweight 30-year-old virgins still living in their mother’s basement might think, a heavy grain of salt must be ingested to enjoy this film.

Get ready for a shock: “Star Wars” is and has always been aimed squarely at kids. Go back and watch the first flick. Notice something? It’s a kid’s movie! Sure, it appeals to all audiences in the same way that Pixar does, but the target has always been the tykes. And this is aimed at the 8-year-olds on Saturday mornings, scoffing down bowls of tooth-rotting cornflakes, who want to see chiseled Jedis duke it out with bright swords against evil Sith lords.

Which explains the terrible CGI, the childish dialogue, the vapid action. In fact, it explains any discrepancy you might’ve read about in other critics’ reviews—most of whom grew up with the original series and are still recovering from the supposed “childhood raping” that this prequels subjected them to. Grow up. Take your kids, buy them the toys, wake them up on Saturday mornings, and grow up.

3 Stars by Pavan Shamdasani.

Directed by David Filoni. Voiced by Matt Lanter, Ashley Eckstein, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee. Category I. 98 mins.