3:00pm. Hey everyone, Henry Tang Ying-ten, GMB, GBS, JP, here. On way to a summit to connect with the city’s youth. I have heard that they are upset. That’s why I’ve invited the city’s young people to a vast “Youth Center” we’ve built way out in Chai Wan, to hear their thoughts.

3:18pm. Jeez Louise, this driver is so slow. We should’ve built an Express Rail Link here.

3:22pm. Need to get in tune with today’s youth. Political assistant recommends this Amy Winehouse. Pleasant tunes, good voice. She seems like the kind of upstanding young person we need more of these days.

3:25pm. Many people ask me, “Hey Honorable Mr. Tang, GMB, GBS, JP, what qualifies you to talk to our young people?” 

3:27pm. What people don’t realize is that my live-in maids and a series of UK boarding school teachers have raised my four beautiful children, and I’m very doting upon my extensive collection of vintage French reds. If that doesn’t qualify me, what does?

3:44pm. Ahhh... youth! I’m becoming wistful just thinking of it. If I could do it all over again... I’d invest in commodities, and plow money into oil futures. In 25 years, these kids could be sitting on a healthy, diversified portfolio.

3:50pm. Pulling up to the Youth Center. I don’t know why everyone complains about this building. It’s very large, and it has table tennis. 

4:00pm. On stage in 5 minutes. Enough time to call home and check on the collection of reds. 

4:05pm. Here we go! A big crowd today... I can see in the back some youths are holding up signs and banners. I can’t quite make out the text, but it looks like, “We Support You Hon. Henry Tang, GMB, GBS, JP.” How thoughtful.

4:45pm. Question about rapidly widening rich-poor gap. This is easy—marginalization, integration with Shenzhen-Hong-Kong MegaCity, reliance upon the motherland...

4:46pm. Oh dear, some troubled person’s shoe has come off and ended up upon the stage.

4:47pm. I see that security is helpfully escorting the vagrant out the door. The poor fellow must be disoriented. If something is bothering him, he should dial the government’s toll-free helpline for mental illnesses.  

5:25pm. Speech over. Am told there is no banquet. Strange. But who do I toast to? Now I’m beginning to understand why young people are upset. Ask PA to make note: next time, Haut-Médoc Bordeaux, 2004 good year.

5:26pm. Another note to PA: inquire about “CE 2012” vanity plate.